I wrote a book and self-published three copies.
I kept one.
Two copies I gave to my daughter Ashley and son-in-law Jeff for their kids to read. (one copy to keep “safe” for later). The twins were babies at the time.
The book was personal; it’s about Cassie. It’s 18 pages, mostly pictures and a few lines per page. Written in the kids’ voices.
.“I have a Guardian Angel, her name is Aunt Cassie…When my mom was two years old her sister Cassie was born…”
Why, you ask?
My grandkids, Cassie’s nieces and nephews, won’t ever meet her and they deserve to know her. Maybe it was more important to me that she be remembered but the book has become a favorite of the big three.
And now there’s a fourth — my son Ethan and his wife Jenna recently had a son.
He deserves to know his Aunt Cassie too.
I’m writing another book.
It will be in his voice.
“When my dad was born, he already had two sisters, Aunt Ashley and Aunt Cassie…”
I didn’t just want her to be remembered, I wanted them to know she lived with cancer. Cancer is hard to explain to a child, when death enters the story, we like to run from the topic. It’s too much for a child…or is it?
“When my Aunt Cassie was in high school, she got sick. The doctor told her she had cancer…”
Kids are smart, they are curious so they ask a ZILLION questions. I’m a veteran at vaguely answering kid questions and a master at deflection- I’m a storyteller. We tell stories, even exaggerate at times 😉. When it came to Cassie and cancer then death I wanted a way to explain it, soften the edges and help them understand who she was and where she is now.
“Just because my Aunt Cassie had cancer, it didn’t mean she was always sick. She was silly and liked to wear crazy clothes.”
“She went to Michigan State, Go Green! Go White”
“One day, the doctor told her there were no more medicines that could make her better. Aunt Cassie told her family she was tired and ready to go to heaven to be with Jesus.”
I think I read that page 100 times before I stopped choking up.
“Sometimes my mom and dad are sad because they miss my Aunt Cassie. But I feel lucky because…I have a Guardian Angel and her name is Aunt Cassie”
I STRONGLY encourage anyone who wants to “write a book” about someone they love; DO IT! Grab a bunch of pictures and tell a short, understandable story about their life and send it off to be “published” (I used Mixbook but plenty of companies do this). I promise, it’ll be a favorite bedtime story. I’m sure Ashley and Jeff have each page memorized:)
I have a dear friend who has taken storytelling to the next level, letting others tell the stories and publishing them in a beautiful book. A very purposeful way to hold on to memories. Her small business is called Book of Stories. On the website Dana shares her “why” in a short video, it’s powerful.
I mentioned in a previous post how I rarely “feel” Cassie. How I look at a picture and no longer remember much about the event beyond the picture. I would love to have saved stories told by others, stories I’ve never heard (ok maybe just the PG13 versions). There were so many stories shared during hospice and in the beginning of our grief journey, I wish I had them in a book. Something I could read now that could make me smile and feel her again.
When Chris and I first started dating, his mom, Barbara, was diagnosed with cancer. I didn’t know much about cancer then, I’m not sure I even asked what kind of cancer she had. I assumed she’d have a treatment, feel better and I’d have time to meet her…I never met my mother-in-law. The Book of Stories would be so incredible. To get to know her through the eyes of the ones that knew her well and loved her deeply. That book would be priceless.
Grief is heavy. Grief is hard. Grief is lonely. Grief can also be serene-curled up with a good book.
Peace. Love and Kayak
Karen
