Cassie’s Bucket List, My Bucket List, and the Lessons in Between

On Labor Day this year I was able to check something off on my bucket list. I walked the Mackinaw Bridge alongside two of my cousins and Chris (and tens of thousands of others). Yes, the bridge moves, even on a calm day and walking on the grates is weirdly unnerving (at least for me). 

Many of us have a “bucket list” but how many of us actually have a written list?  Me 🙋🏻‍♀️

One of the times Cassie was in the hospital waiting on a surgery planned for the next morning, she started talking about her bucket list. As her mom, this was unsettling.

Why does a 19-year-old have a bucket list? Does she think she’s going to die? I realize she’s a cancer patient and has likely thought about death—but a bucket list?!?!

Naturally, Cassie pressed me ”Do you have a bucket list?”

“Ummm, no”

“Why? Don’t you have things you want to do?”

“I guess”

“Well then, make a list! If you don’t write it down, you can’t check it off.”

Ok, she had me there, as a person that feels very satisfied by checking things off a list, this grabbed my attention.

“Whats on your list?” I asked Cassie. She pulled out her phone and started rattling off her list.

• Be on TV
• Be in a magazine
• Go to a Tigers playoff game
• See all 50 states
• Speak fluid Spanish
• Live in a foreign country for at least 3 months

Unfortunately, her phone somehow suffered some water damage after she died and we don’t have access to the full list, these are the ones I remember. There were about 50(ish) things on it. I can almost hear her rattling them off, thinking Oh—That’s a good one!

I also remember how excited she was to check off “Be in a magazine” when she was featured on the cover of the Karmanos “Hope” Magazine…Probably not the cover she was planning on but a check is a check✔️

Then she told me to get my phone out so I could start a list. 

• Opening day Tiger game✔️
• Read the bible cover to cover (I’m getting close to this ✔️)
• Play craps in Vegas✔️
• Milk a cow
• Learn to knit
• Front row for a concert✔️
• Start or work for a non-profit ✔️(I really wrote that!)

Once Cassie framed the list in a way that was fun, I was less intimidated with the “why does she have a list” and more interested in thinking about things I thought might be fun to experience.

• Be a part of (or watch) a live civil war reenactment
• Go to the Olympics (See you in 2028 LA😉)
• Attend a presidential inauguration

At each of our CHSCF board meetings we ask a young adult who has been at Base2Summit to share a few thoughts about their experience—its our “Mission Moment”. The reason we do this is to help our Board of Directors “see” the mission play out and give them opportunities to share the work we do to their network through storytelling. At one of our meetings, Julia shared with us that after she finished her treatment she adopted a mindset of “Live like you’re dying”. This mantra came with some pressure to always be “on”. She shared that after Base2Summit she realized she needed to “Live life like she was living”. This simple twist in words says so much. Her profound phrase really had me thinking —how was I living my life? 

Am I checking boxes, just to check boxes? Or am I living my life in the moment and enjoying the highs and lows? Honestly, both. I love a good checked-off list and I struggle with being present at times. I do expect to live a “full” life, whatever time God grants me and I recognise the need for rest. Karen, 10 years ago, had a hard time saying “no” to things thinking “I may only have this one chance to experience this”. Cassie’s “Don’t take the easy road; take risks!” was stuck in my head. When someone you love dies at a young age, it shifts your thinking.

Then I realized—through prayer and therapy— that I needed to slow down and rest. I wasn’t enjoying things, I was just busy. (UGH, I hate that word, “busy”)

At Base2Summit I am always inspired by the young adults I meet, they all talk about needing a break—a rest. They tell us Base2Summit affords them this pause. The name Base2Summit came about with this in mind— Cancer shifts your “base”, we exist to support young adults managing cancer plant two feet at their base  and look towards a fresh summit.  

The bridge walk was a checkmark on my list, but the real gift was walking alongside people I love, sharing the moment. So, yes, I’ll keep checking boxes off my bucket list. But more importantly, I’ll keep reminding myself to live like I’m living—

To rest when I need it.

To say no when my soul whispers no.

To say yes when an opportunity feels like adventure.

Always find my base and look toward my next summit.

What’s on your bucket list?

Peace, Love and Kayak,

Karen